Catnip Catastrophe

It had been the usual morning for Sonic the Hedgehog.

Get up, slurp down a cup of sugar-laden coffee, take a run on the treadmill while watching a favorite morning cartoon, and then take off the pajamas before anyone could come over unexpectedly and catch sight of him in the not-so-manly attire.

He felt smug as he heard the doorbell echo around the house just as he was slipping off the last garment. Being right about stuff was fun, and it made him feel smart.

However, as he opened the door, he had not been expecting just who would show up. At this time of morning it was usually Amy, or a fan.

But, no. The day had other plans.

“…Shadow?” Sonic huffed as his darker counterpart pushed him aside and entered the house, “Okay…let yourself in.”

He followed the silent hedgehog all the way to his living room, where a ridiculous, sickeningly colorful and bright toon was still playing, “Uh, Shads? What’s this about?”

Without warning, Shadow suddenly flipped around to face him, arms outstretched in the possible position one might have when carrying a powerful weapon.

Sonic yelped and vanished behind his couch, “Not in my house, not in my house! What’r ya doing?!”

“Do you want to learn how to shoot a gun, Sonic?” the sheer joy in his voice made it all the more weirder.

Carefully, cautiously, the blue hedgehog peeked over his hiding place to see his beaming counterpart, holding the handle of a handsome makarov towards him, “Do you?”

“…Huh?” He stood up and stalked towards him, eyebrow crooked, “Why? W-what’s wrong with you? Why do you look so happy?”

Shadow scoffed in turn, “Can I not just have a little fun once in a while without you acting like a moron?” As he said this, he swung the weapon on one finger carelessly, an unnervingly un-Shadow smile playing on his face.

Sonic did not understand this at all, but really didn’t want a random hole in the wall. He gingerly snatched the gun out of the casual hedgehog’s hand, “What, have you been drinking or something?”

“Nooope.”

“Then what?”

“Give the gun back.” A dangerous flash of his scarlet eyes.

“Hey, I was asking you a question! You just completely ignored me!”

“That’s what I do. Now give it back; I came here to teach, not give!”

That’s when Sonic spotted something in Shadow’s other hand. Was that a packet of something..? Colorful words, green fluttery thing, creepily-happy animated animal printed on the front…

“Oh my gosh, Shads.” He had to rub his own face, not sure whether this was funny or not, “You’ve been eating catnip?!”

“No.” The product of something gone wrong folded his arms indignantly, “I’ve merely nibbled.”

“That is not nibbled. That package is nearly empty!“

“So? The other ones were too, and I didn’t freak.”

He groaned, but gasped when he was suddenly yanked along by him, “Hey!” He protested, but followed as he was soon out the door and walking down the street with this maniac, “Where do ya think we’re going?”

He rolled his eyes, “To the shooting range, of course. “

“What, and use me as the target? No way!” He struggled, but found himself unable to escape, causing him to become increasingly worried.

As soon as Shadow entered the range, the human inside yelled and flew across the room to the safety of behind one of his counters. Apparently, this wasn’t their first meeting.

Undaunted by the fear he was causing, the raven hedgehog began setting up, managing to keep Sonic contained in his grasp the whole time as he clipped the target into place and took a new pack of bullets to load his gun with, which he did with ease.

“You’re crazy! Lemme go!” The ‘hero’ was suddenly thrust forward, hands forced into place as the freshly loaded and cocked gun was suddenly slapped into his palm. He took a deep breath and looked slowly over his shoulder, meeting an expectant face.

Shadow seemed proud of himself, “Well, go on.” When Sonic didn’t move he scowled, “What, do I have to show you how to squeeze the trigger?” He briefly lifted the packet to his mouth again, “Just do it. I didn’t come all the way down here to have you chicken out, faker.”

Actually, you dragged me here. Technically, I should be upset, not you. But he only thought this. Instead, he muttered, “Eh, no thanks. Maybe we can talk when you’re feeling better.”

If he had been speaking his mind, he would have said, ‘Shadow, I admit it; I’m terrified of these things! I cringe every time I even catch sight of one! Now, let me go home and you go back to yours. By the way, you need help, man!’

However, in the condition he was in, Shadow would have probably taken both answers the same way. His chest puffed up slightly with pride and he gave the blue hedgehog a dark, thoughtful smirk.

Does he think that that was some kind of challenge or something?!

“Oh, you’re so going to fire that gun.” He took hold of Sonic’s now shaking hand and twisted the trigger finger into place.

“NO!”

“Mh-hm.” He pinched down on a sensitive pressure point on the blue counterpart’s wrist and quickly stepped back.

*BAM!*

The sheer thunder clap of a sound that it produced would have sent shivers down the spine of a Sonic who had been standing outside of the building. But this Sonic was inside the building, holding the thing making that noise.

Before he knew it, he was laying on the chilly cement floor, the weapon still standing straight up in his outstretched arms and the reverb ringing hard in his ears.

 A blurry black figure stepped into view over him and was silent for a moment, “…Well, that was terrible.”

He choked and gawked up at him, “A-are you k-kidding m-m-me?! I n-nearly d-DIED!”

“Hardly.”

Sonic was roughly helped up and spun around to see the damage done. He was still mostly stunned, his ears twitching and vision blurred, but he spotted the hit spot.

“If you had wanted to make sure that this man would have no further generations, then I’d be congratulating you. But I am sure that that was not the case…” Shadow sounded dry, as if he had been expecting so much more.

The more colorful of the two blinked slowly and tapped the macarov in his hand. Glancing at his partner, he asked innocently, “Got any more of that catnip?”

A smug hedgehog revealed his extra.